I’ve been involved in a climbing club for a few years and became good friends with an older married couple.
Their son also used to be there and I developed a crush on him. His mother picked up on this and is always saying she will set me up with him.
Recently, for personal reasons, she’s taken some time out and the son is also away studying, so I don’t see him as often.
Now his father is starting to ask me really personal questions, such as “Do you have a boyfriend?” and “Do you have your eye on anyone?”
He even told me to keep away from other guys as there’s someone who has feelings for me, but they are afraid to pursue me in case I reject them, and they’d lose the fantasy that one day he will have a chance.
He keeps referring to how I make him “feel good”, he compliments me and also makes sexual jokes.
He is also trying to turn me off his son, saying nothing will ever happen with him. I’m starting to come to the conclusion the father has been referring to himself all along.
Do you think this is the case or am I being crazy? And if so, do you feel he’d keep it to a fantasy or would he try to act on it if he got the chance?
It’s such an awkward situation and I really need some advice!
Yes, I absolutely think he’s referring to himself – those hints aren’t subtle at all and he’s used the fact his wife and son are out of the picture at the moment to drop them in.
He’s laying the groundwork so there’s less of a chance of you rejecting him.
There are two easy ways to deal with this. Firstly, you could say: “I feel you’re flirting with me but, just so you know, I’m not interested and you’re married.”
Or, drop some pretty massive hints yourself, such as: “I would never date anyone older than I am, or a married man.”
Either way, I think he needs to get the message loud and clear, so there’s no room for misinterpretation.
It’s been a few years now, so I think it’s safe to say the son isn’t interested or his mum has no intention of setting you up on a date.
And if this situation is making you feel uncomfortable, then why not look around for another club to join?
It’s not that I think you should feel forced out of the club. You could even mention his behaviour to the people who run it – his sexual jokes and innuendo, for example.
But, it might also be good for you to make a fresh start and meet younger people as this man has crossed a line.
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